Tuesday, May 12, 2009
disintegration to integration...
I am like a little squirrel hustling around collecting soft, fiber design elements to integrate in the remnants from disintegration process with Seth. I have never before undertaken this journey in possibility and discovery. I have the same type of disintegration happening in my cabin studio and I realize how painful it is to hold onto too many bits and pieces. I see possibilities in small bits of evidence from my daily life but I have failed to follow through by taking the time; time due to me and my process, to actually complete the idea I had planned. NOW I am free being without a paying job (that I did truly love and my artists) but I find myself immobilized by the fear. Now with this next renewal project I am re-evaluating what I value to do with my time. I am slowly letting go...to find the time and space to make new marks; unknown marks for sure but I am allowing my intuition to guide me as a non-judgmental muse for my soul. If I stop to think about the unknown I will never achieve anything and with a little patience I will see with my mind's and heart's eye. I am organizing my 2009 notebooks of emails, poems, art criticisms and reviews plus personal family events and experiences.
This afternoon I sat on my backdoor step and studied the new ferns dancing and moving in an early Spring day. The sunshine seemed to provide the melodic movements of my beautiful perennial friends that grace my backdoor. Maybe tomorrow I will search the garage to find my morning glory seeds to add another concerto to my small secret garden. I may find seeds that I do not even know what they are but I will be living the ritual of integration. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart