Monday, February 15, 2010

the absolutely essential...

I have spent the majority of my day... snow softly falling outside my window.. in bed under the body was revolting against some of the medications that work to suppress my lupus... my white wolf. My dreams have been about incomplete sentences, confusion, reversals and unfinished works on my work table. There has been an urgency to rush back to what is my "normal strength and energies" but the reality is I am still learning the art of patience. When I am forced to be still...I never liked to take my naps even as a baby... I want to act like it is not really necessary but in the end and after much practice of ignorance I am continuing to learn to listen to my body's requests. Tonight I am feeling much better and dizziness is just the remaining consequence and I will slowly regain my equilibrium and be back to working with my hands as soon as tomorrow.

Tonight I received a gift... a call from a friend ...we were born two days apart in the same hospital... and went to schools as young Catholic women learning to grow up as young women in the 1960's in Louisville, KY. She had heard from a friend and a friend said I was not doing too well...they might be right today...but I know tomorrow I will begin a healthier life cycle. I have been so blessed in so many ways throughout my almost six decades...always surrounded by people who love me through thick and thin. I have not joined Facebook but this is the seventh request to get on board a network of communications. So far I have tried to limit my actual time allowance on the computer for my research for my individual works for the next exhibit and centralizing my focus almost daily of my quiet , simple journey as an artist. I will think about adding another element to recording my journey but that will have to be after the interventional brain procedure in a couple of weeks. Each time after the surgery I have to relearn to type, sentence syntax, I struggle with major reversals and it is with embarrassment that I honestly admit I never know quite what to really expect and pray for the best. I am always exhausted after the magic of the doctors working with God and I know how lucky I am here in the moment. Yesterday's concert with Marc Cohn...he is a survivor also and the video gift from Ken reminds me that "I am still HERE!" Hallelujah!

I love receiving comments so feel free to chime in and tell me about your journeys. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart


  1. As I read your post, I feel such love.

    I think it comes from you.

  2. Mary Helen,

    I too am slowly learning the art of patience...not doing WELL at it, but trying! The weather here is, well, making me immobile and perturbed. (you understand) No studio work, just sitting.
    I had a get call too---talked with a cousin for over two hours that I had not seen since childhood. Somehow, the aches disappeared a lot through the laughter and stories. We discovered we are twins from different mothers.
    Is it not odd how our day mirrored???
    Hope you're feeling better today...and me too. I have errands and bills. ICK.
    Love your snow photos!!!


  3. Thank you Zom and Anne...our lives are often a reflection of synergies in the Universe and if we are lucky we get a chance to reflect with a sacred sister. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart