Tuesday, May 4, 2010

May 4TH a day of enormous saddness... a day of a lifetime of Joy....

Today is the 40TH anniversary of the Kent State killings.... I graduated from Kent State and this sad event has been smoldering in my heart's murmurs for 40 years. No, I was not there then...but if I had been I had walked the open field too many times to even count...if I had been there I would have probably been there observing a real life Twilight Zone. I graduated in 1975 and while in college I worked two jobs, sewed clothes personalized for tall young women in the workplace, and was a teacher's aide in an elementary school. As you can see I had very few free moments to be involved politically active but after the shootings there was an environment of quiet surrender... try not to rock the boat and get through my classes as quickly as possible and be able to work. The campus morale was very subdued and the ripples of the tragedy still radiate from this campus that was surrounded by corn fields and farmers. I think I need to make a pilgrimage back to Kent but I know I want it to be an anonymous private visit without all the hoopla and media on the sacred ground.

Today in 1984 I adopted two little characters who have held the key to my heart. Sherry Lynn was a four year old who wanted to grow up to be Tina Turner and her small quiet sister Tina Maria who was just three and way behind in her growth projections. They arrived with two paper grocery bags each filled with a real hodge podge of clothing, stuffed kitten, odd pairings of socks and underwear. It is almost comical when I think about arriving home to find two smiling urchins swinging on the porch swing waiting for their mother to come home. They were lucky to have three mothers..one who gave them life, their foster mothers to care for their needs while waiting for the process to evolve...and one mother who carries them in her heart for the rest of her life. Sherry and Tina had been placed in too many foster placements to lists and we did not receive too much information about their circumstances and parents...they are half sisters. That is always a puzzling label for children... they were the only family members that had shared their numerous disappointments and unknown adults who came in and out of their lives. Long story short...they moved in on May 4TH and my husband moved out in December...another rough pothole in our lives and yet what did not kill us did make us stronger but I still feel sad for the pain they had to experience. Now they are grown women...Sherry Lynn still would like to be Tina Turner and has a son Antonio who is five years old. Tina Marie has married and has three beautiful daughters that keep her on her toes and remind me so much of Tina when she was small. Erin Elizabeth came when I married Ken and she has been the third daughter I have grown to love and respect over the last 24 years. Erin has two children and a baby on the way due to arrive in August. So you can see I have been so blessed...they taught me empathy, understanding, and a Joy for making each day count and to cherish the moments we have...ever so brief that they may be...moments to share a love created in my heart for these three remarkable young women.

I read the Daily OM ...nurturing Mind, Body and Spirit as I move through my daily life. "The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves, mind, body and spirit" I find the awareness to cultivate my spirit and share my life's passions for creating my sacred marks with simple cotton flosses with simple stitches...drawing a line in my time in this moment. Finding balance in our daily lives helps me to maintain my focus... no need to panic yet :O)... but keep working and celebrating the art process ...and I will be able to share my vision. Thank you for all your support...now I need to make a very short statement for the front of the postcard to share some inviting thoughts to bring a dialogue with myself and my viewers. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart


  1. You have savored many days. The flower photo is beautiful. Flowers remind me of ourselves, the way they open up from a small bud and become more beautiful. I know your daughters have learned many lessons from you, their true mother. The flower reminds me of ourselves, opening up from a small bud to becoming a most beautiful flower. Enjoy your day while continuing to count your blessings.

  2. Thank you for sharing that lovely story about your family. How lucky you all are for having found one another. It's so hard for people to sometimes understand that when one door closes another one opens. Your life has made you strong and the people in it fuel your loving nature.

  3. What lucky children to have a woman of such love in their lives.
    Thank you so much for your comments on my blog. They touch me deeply with their insight and Truth.