Friday, October 22, 2010
The frost was on the window this morning as the young doe studied my morning expression...we both simultaneously seem to be aware that we were both just travelers on this multicolored blanket of Fall's brushstrokes. I seem to be frozen for a moment as if we seem to both experience each other fragility. I keep focused on my goals to be visible in making my way as a maker of sacred marks but without any forewarning the old fear seems to creep into through a crack ...posing an undisclosed danger and warning ... creating a time of challenge. This all happens for a brief second but I feel the immobilization on and off through my day. Have you ever felt a moment like this? Where does one turn? How do you make the first move forward? What have I learned from this pause in movement? I should have been writing all this down right at the moment of revelation but daily life pushed me forward and now I am struggling to recall the power of this lesson.
Today was a brilliant day filled with clear white light. My thoughts were with my friend Christine as her family said goodbye to a mother, a wife, a dear loving friend. Maybe that is one reason for my uneasiness...my distraction...my absence of time and inability of concentration...I really do not know. I found myself stumbling and forgetting where I had placed papers and small components of art elements during the early morning. Then in a moment ...a friend walked through the door as if to say out loud...everything was going to be work out. We had lunch as my brain fought to stay in the present moment...we are both working hard to make the change we want to see in our lives. Grief was the thief creeping into my process and a fellow deer...a dear friend reminded me that we were both going to be okay. I then found my concentration...my lost papers... my sense of duty to prepare for tomorrow's family experience to collaborate with others in the celebration of the Harvest under a full moon's white light. Thank you dear friends...both my vigilant deer and my dear friend. May God bless and keep us all.
Janet Frame wrote a insightful book "The Pocket Mirror"...thoughts on reflections of making a life. Possibly I need to look into my own eyes in the mirror...what am I seeing? What does the reflection reveal? "All letters began as signs, and all signs began as images" Victor Hugo The autumn leaves are like flapping flags in the gentle currents of the cool chill migrating in a new season. I hope to find strength to stay alert to the many miracles and happenings others might have missed. This is a lesson that makes a day's work meaningful and empowers us all to be aware to make the choice to live in the present. Thank you to all those who crossed my path today and guide my heart home in Peace. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart