you bless me...my daffodils are blooming and I am home...

I am home from the hospital and ever so grateful for the team of medical surgeons and neuro-surgeons who held me in the hands of the heavenly father and went into my brain and successfully acknowledged that I could begin once again to live my life without fear. My coils have now permanently sealed and the stint is still not working effectively to maintain my blood flow to the Circle of Willis near my optic nerve... but with the help of God's providence and grace a new artery has circumvented the stint to assist the continued blood flow. The team joked that I was in a state of total Zen and could maintain my lower blood pressure and slow my heart rate down and remain alert and calm as the doctor asked me questions and told me when the radio active iodine would surge inside my brain as they measured and documented the progression of healing that is now visible. I had to hold my breath at specific times but I had no fear...somehow I realized I was where I needed to be in this moment of time. I am very tired...and the headache is beginning to diminish with extra sleep and bed rest. My daughters have fed us both like kings and queens so with a few more quiet days I should be back to almost normal. I can now make an appointment with my eye specialist and we can move forward with a new prescription for glasses... I think I need to get a more durable but exquisitely colorful frames so I can continue my work ...vision is a priceless and I will never take it for granted. Your prayers have assisted me as I gather my courage from all my angels to move forward in my journey. Once again I realize that my spelling and typing will take some time to return to normal...be patient with me ...God is working with me on correcting this temporary setback.

I sat outside in the sunshine for a short time this afternoon and gazed into my little garden to discover the first small daffodils waving up to me to welcome me back home. You are all my daffodils and you bless me in my journey. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

It is miraculous how holding the hand of a beloved grandchild can energize and heal a weary spirit. May we all be bless in our circle of loved ones when we are deep in a heavy dark place in time... Cole and Morgan and baby number three on the way...the true gifts in our lives.

Seek the sacred in the Ordinary...

Women who ran with the wolves...
In 1994 my sacred sister gave me a small book that I revisited tonight...Abraham H. Maslow describes the great lesson from the true mystics...is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbors, friends, and family, ...in one's own back yard. This is so simple but somehow as an artist I forget the simplicity in the daily often mundane movements in my day. A phone call from a friend who needed an ear to "listen with my heart". My dear mother in law called in the afternoon to share some family news and I assured her that every new life is a gift from God no matter when they arrive...my mother said the first child can come anytime...after that they all usually take nine months. I talked to my daughter Erin and she was having a better day today...threads of connections to my heart...and yes I did get some assemblage work tonight. I am beginning to feel the time limits for my process completion for the exhibit...whoa...this is wasted energy. I will get to May 28th one step at a time... I am preparing mentally and doing the work.

Tonight I am enthralled once again by the skaters in Vancouver...Evan Lysacek has performed his finest performance and it is now up to how the other skaters perform and the bonus numbers from the judges. Johnny Weir is wearing silver and sequins but no make-up tonight..."always be yourself" and recognize the beauty in his own soul. His program is called "Fallen Angel" and reflects his growth since the Torino games. These young men display grace and strength with an amazing sense of poise and artistry. The Russian skater was wonderful and only lost by one point in the judges to Evan and this was a night remember. Congratulations Evan for 257.67 Gold Medal celebrations! The promise of our future is evident tonight as the youth of the world unite to share their dreams.

I am going to risk something new for my smaller works...I am creating callographs from fibers to be used to print textures of sheer fabric to add layers before I even add the story with my threads and embellishments. I retrieved a fabric that I collaborated with Susan Shie and Marge Burkell back in 1994 where we played with an airbrush and some newer paints designed for fabrics. I had wondered where this piece would take my sacred marks and now I have planned a prayerful memory page of our very own Wooster Woodstock 1994. Susan Shie has been a very important inspiration over the last twenty years...she is my lady of white light! I am not sure what Marge is doing ..we drifted apart as she moved into Amway and her family. Marge was an incredible colorist and I miss her wonderful way with design and colors. Now I will recapture that August afternoon collaboration and barbecue! I am pulling out several important narratives and love stories from the women who have guided my vision and my life as an artist.
I need to get up early tomorrow to see the OSU hospital Lupus specialist and double check the availability for my March Brain procedure. I am not sure I will be able to sleep tonight. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart