an eve of reflection on the goodbye to 2010....

I have the TV on with Times Square happenings in my background. Ken has gone to sleep and will greet 2011 in the morning. I went down to work in solitude in my studio ...it was 62 degrees here today...I am not sure what to think about this weather pattern. We were in sub-zero temperatures for most of the month and today we finish the year out with glorious sunshine and almost tropical temperatures. I gathered up my Christmas collection of design elements and carefully sorted and put them into the best organizational system I have ever had. I was totally proud of my "stuff all in a proper place"...this is so freeing to my spirit and I began rediscovering what supplies I had for the next couple of months. I am going to be working on my quilts but I still need to make some items to tempt my visitors to buy and support my rent of the month fund! :O)

I took some natural photos tonight on my way home ...my sky seemed to fill with mystical openings in the dark foreboding clouds...the sunlight found its way to escape and shimmer down on the precious undeveloped earth. I began to recognize holes in my reality and tried to begin to connect some of the details and search for personal solutions to my shortcomings. I need to pay attention to small clues and show my affection when I feel the need to express sides or versions of myself that I normally keep quiet and hidden away. I hope to daily show appreciation for my talents and strengths and recognize I can not and could not be everything for "others". This acceptance alone is a new awareness of attributes and weaknesses I have known about myself but rarely expressed. If I see or feel a personal sadness I will make an effort to reach out and help someone else. I am finding solace in my retreat to work daily on my own works...in my own place...that I happen to share with others when they come in. There are days when I do not accomplish everything I set out to do but being out in the open and sharing my art process is one way of communicating with one another. I do think I will work more after hours in 2011 because I do enjoy the quiet alone moments but my focus has become more visible in my heart's desire. Once again recognize...connect... and solve what come what may in the next year. I will seek renewal in quiet moments ....trust the hope found in a child's eyes ... and listen with my heart. I wrote "Hope like a tree reaches for the sky" back when I was 16 and in high school at Angela Merici in Louisville, KY. I am amused that I can remember this process thought after so many years and with the brain surgery I have gaps in my memory...maybe that is for the better.

I watched the Devine Bette Midler's special on HBO earlier tonight and realize for 40 years I have had her music in my subconscious. She is one brave bodacious broad and I am proud to say she is a woman who has made her own "Herstory" history. If you get a chance are in my age group check her out...her dance troupe is spectacular and the costumes will make you smile. The bawdy jokes in a vaudeville style ...I sure wish I could remember her one liner jokes... I am not a joke teller.

Hold
Heal
Listen
Survive a crisis
Tears
Let go
Freedom
Fulfillment
Simple living a simplified life
Transcendence
Renewal
In Inner Peace.

May we all be blessed to be safe, healthy and content to create daily. Dare to risk the unfamiliar or new and seek quiet calm moments daily. Happy New Year! Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart


Larry Nawadney is a wood carver from Granville, OH...searching for his answers.
Look out for the curves in the road...this is a journey we all must make on our own.