Today has been a mixed blessing with the early light of our day filled with sunshine after four days of rain. The mosses are moist and vibrant greens; the rusty treasures I am transforming with Mother Nature's warm spring rains and the blossoms of fresh and delicate purple irises dotting the hillside on my circle. Lovely... simply lovely brushstrokes from the hand of God and sweetly fragrant wisps on the morning breezes. I should be reminded to be still even in the heat of the oncoming deadlines. It is the attention to details that is what makes each collection of sacred marks give birth to a white somewhat cold gallery space. Recognizing and understanding of the impermanence of any location and proper placements is a haunting task yet like bringing a child into a life it takes patience and a steady perspective. I am very honored to be a guest in their space...this one's for my mother and for Howard...Howard LeFevre had a dream to unite the history, technology and the Arts of our community and to allow everyone to experience the personal story of living here in Licking County. I just realized I still need to create a canal scene and the importance of this waterway in commercial traffic and the development of our city's courthouse square. So many stories and so little time :O).
I have heard from the teachers I volunteered for at St. Francis for Days of Creation and Ken's staff over at Bexley Middle school and Capital University so hopefully if the creek doesn't rise and the weather remains calm we could have a family event that is free for everyone. I am working with my special antique buttons and sewing them on my already embroidered surfaces...more layers to add to the story and hopefully invite one to come closer for a intimate inspection. This is a peaceful process and when I am able to stop and be still with the process it seems to calm my nerves. I went to get a haircut...an economic Walmart styling by a young mother named Lisa. We are both in the same financial situation except she does have a paying job. She shares her family, her schedules and summer plans to take her youngsters to the Ohio State Fair for their first concert to see "Heart". I smile when I see how important it is for her to give her children a memory and this is quite a sacrifice for the whole family to attend. Lisa is ready to have her children home for the summer but giggled when she said out loud that probably would not last long...the kids get bored rather easily and her paycheck has to cover the main events like food, shelter and clothing.
I am still wondering if I made the right decision about joining Facebook...there are so many consequences and responsibilities to take into consideration. I have been reunited with some dear friends from high school in Louisville, Kentucky. I am still missing my mother and her passing has proven to make a cut in the ties...I wondered if there would be anyone who still thought of or remembered me from back in 1968. Those years were monumental in our country's history and the passage of my early adult life. I made some bad choices and will admit I was ill prepared for what my lessons would be. Sexuality and commitments ...life was not as permanent as I was led to believe and I regret hurting those I loved the most. The Vietnam War still haunts my dreams and my questions about our government and environmental issues even then caused disruption in my family circles. I have a sensitivity to the natural world in terms of simply belonging ...I dream of equality and harmony all these years later. Is that still so wrong? I must get back to my slow cloth handwork. Thank you all for listening and Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart
"All becoming has needed me.
My Looking ripens things
and they come toward me , to meet and be met."
The Book of Hours
sending you moments of stillness and thoughts of peace while you move through these busy days ahead. Seems the past is coming up in the present for many these days. My dad gave a talk on civil rights at a local public school this past week - which nearly brought him to tears, trying to impress on these kids the importance of equal rights for all... our few family outings were primarily to peace, or civil rights protests, & meeting with the "ethical society" - some days it feels like little has changed. we're in ridiculous winless wars; practicing prejudice, with the new immigration laws; and suffering big business catastrophes and lies that have caused environmental devastation... and yet much has improved, and for our own sanity, we must focus on what enriches and enlivens us. thank all the powers that be for creative expression, nature, and good friends :) xox K
ReplyDeleteThings change slowly - or quickly. So much has changed in our lifetimes. Apparently there is less war than there has ever been. Our perception of what is happening in the world is distorted by uneven media reporting. There is much good.
ReplyDeleteWe have all done things we regret in our lives. We forgive ourselves so that we can forgive others. And we forgive others to be able to forgive ourselves.
Love to you, gentle soul.
Zom said it right....
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing....So much of what you shared applies to me also....I just had a reunion from my friends in Uruguay who I had not seen in 35 yrs. We all were touched by a dictatorship that made us close, and we felt 35 years later a bond that has no equal...
Love,
gabriela
I had and still have mixed feelings about Facebook too. I don't need to use it as a
ReplyDelete"network" for business. I'm not really interested in connecting up with anybody from my past. Those that stayed close are still with me.
I don't need to be filled in on the life and all that has happened to somebody that frankly I didn't care enough about, really, to keep up the friendship. I've accepted, that over time, people come into our lives and move through and out of them. That all of these people have a connection but that the purpose of those connections can be broken. I need all my energy to love, care for, be compassionate towards those that are in my life, at this moment. I know that sounds harsh but I am careful of the energy that I collect around me and that which I send out. :)Bea
Don't ever doubt your decisions... joining FB led you back to ME!
ReplyDeleteI miss you, and Ken too of course, but long for the days we had in Ohio & PA... and visits with our families in tow... they are all grown now and we settle into "later", children on their own, life.
I am happy to see that you are still your wonderful creative self. My life has taken twists and turns and we are now 500 miles away, farther from you but closer at the same time... so relish FB and what it can bring to your life, but remember that you hold the keys... and limit whom you let enter.
~Marge aka "Hummingbird" to a cherished few