Happy Mother's Day Rose Marie....

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there; also for the fathers who support the mothers. Today was a very difficult day for me...my first one without Mom here on earth. Maya Rose reminded me that she is and always will be with me in my heart and my heart's work. Yesterday Ken and I help Chance and Erin with dinner for the "movers" as they attempted to collect, move and re-create and re-assemble furniture in its new location. Cole is two but has made four moves successfully and he assisted his grandpa in every possible way. "Come on Grandpa and Come on Grandma" have become heart warming words that I embrace with my heart. Today we took dinner over to Tina's family and we had a relaxing afternoon around the table the Maya, Sabrina and Hannah helped with the salad, table setting and frosting the cupcakes. The sunshine filled the backyard and we were all delighted when Hannah shared her new "froggie" underpants while she made me a special book. I spoke to my sister and my baby brother today just to re-connect with them and tell them how much I love them. In July we are all planning to meet in Louisville for the big family reunion...the first year the hole in our hearts is so large you can almost feel the pain and heartache even long distant. I have spent the last two days with music from my past and with the Alison Krause's "Union Station in Louisville" CD, "The Traveling Willburys" and a little of this and a lot of that. Music seems to ooze through my pores and speed into my toes and makes me want to dance...made you look.
Tonight I began watching the HBO's "Alzheimer's" five part special. Yes, it is enlightening and frightening at the same time but for those of you who have not ventured into this possible chapter in your lifetime you may want to catch this special. Maria Shriver is one of the producers and lives with this essence in transformation of humanity; her father has the disease and fails to recognize his family anymore. This thought provoking series will open up dialogues with those you love and may help assist you when have to face these decisions, information does not make it easier to digest but knowing we are not alone and help is available for families.
I was fortunate enough to be with my mother Rose Marie as she passed through this veil...I cried when I spoke these words...You can go now Momma; but she will continue to live in my life's work and journeys. I am the woman I am today because of her...determined, persistent, empathetic and growing in strength of my heart. I miss you dear Lady. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

Gross National Product gnp...Gross National Happiness...

As you well see by last nights typing errors maybe I will need another brain procedure in the near future. I am still Here! Some days are better than others but this afternoon I picked up Maya and Sabrina from Cherry Valley and then went to drop off forwarded mail from the LCA over at Mary Thedos...I was disappointed that she was not home because I miss her genuine insight and kindness. We went to the post office to pick up the stamps that remain 42 cents even after Monday's increase. The post office is having their rough financial issues right along with the rest of us. After a very quick stop off at JoAnn's for half off the remnants we headed back to my daughters and then I realized my key no longer works. We remained calm but Sabrina wanted to be inside and she needed some Tylenol for her headache/allergies?? Tomorrow we are cooking for the young movers in Reynoldsburg: lasagna, homemade spaghetti sauce, garlic bread, fresh spinach salad and carrot cake cupcakes and help them relax and celebrate their new home.
I worked in my dismantled studio tonight and even though to an outsider it looks like a disaster I am making headway. You have to take everything out of hiding to really know what you have available before you can totally make the reorganization work ...at least that is what "they" tell you. I found myself organizing and ironing fabrics for some work in a series I am working on and have been able to play a little more than I had done in the last couple of years. The standing still evolution...seems to be guiding me into a somewhat but new direction. I have been very blessed to hear from some of my artists who worked on the Seth project and we have compared notes on the power of working in isolation...the trick is finding a sense of balance. This fluctuates from day to day but it is a learning curve that I am appreciating with each new day. Have a great evening! Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

"Sistahs" at the King Arts Complex...are doing it by themselves

After four days of resting my back on and off a heating pad I made my way to Columbus to see the opening of "Sistahs" of the Arts...in the spirit of our Ancestors in the King Arts Complex. I felt as if I was witnessing the authentic soul of the season and the urban community of women making their marks. This exhibit was curated by Bettye Stull and is united to educate , inspire and provide a creative connection with artists and encouraging a diverse range of advancing the arts from a collective generous group of women. Queen Brooks, Lynn Logan Grimes, Debbie Jackson and Janet George were just a few of the artists that I have been fortunate enough to meet and learn from their marks in the art world. The audience of viewers was gracious and full of three generations of women...grandmothers, mothers, daughters and even little babies seemed to be captured by the rooms filled with colors and nacestral rythmns. This exhibit lasts until August so if you are downtown be sure to stop and take in the songs and voices of these incredible women.
I watched Michael J. Fox's special tonight on optimism and how we can nurture happiness with our own spiritual strengths. My mother struggled with Parkinsons as does Michael J. Fox and they both were fighters until my mother's passing last Fall. Remember to look for the next right ...even for now... right thing...you may not always feel up but attitude is absolutely everything. Bhutan is a country where instead of a GNP gross net product; they all create a country where they care for each other and nurture a GNH gross net Happiness. Bill Murray played golf with this Parkinson's survivor...it was a comedy in living the moment and still finding a positive spin on this atheletic endeavor. I live with my gift ( a chronic progressive disease) and even though the detours have been unforeseen, I know I have everything I need even if at times I fail to recognize this fact. I am looking forward to reading his book when it comes out. I felt a real connection when the discussion of optimism and the lives of artists who perservere modeled the importance of community and family support. I need to get back to my work...one stitch at a time... but this is my work.

moisture in the atmosphere...

My ferns are breaking through the warming earth...
moisture in the atmosphere envelops my hillside
the creatures are seeking a safe place to hide until the raindrops stop
and old friends have re-entered my life after a twenty years absence.
My ferns are unfolding in the moist inviting climate
opening in a visible dramatic act of trust and faith
much like an old friend who reappears in my heart
to celebrate the moment of jubilation...together
as if we were never separated over the time spent apart
Perennial fiddle heads announce their arrival
in my garden ...in my heart.
I treasure these whispers and echoes from my cherished past.

Today I have heard from other participating artists in the disintegration project; many from remote areas on our planet Earth. I also received guidance from an artist/author who is attempting to guide me through this process in creating a one person exhibit. She shared some of her photos from the ODC exhibit on her blog "Uncommon Threads" by Gayle Pritchard. She is a gifted and generous artist and now we have realized we share the next phases of our lives as artists. I continue my slow process with one stitch after another and know I need to nurture patience and just do the best I can with the tools I now possess. My vision is precarious on some days ...but I am still here! Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

Rough winds do shake the darling buds....

Today was an important election for education in our county and the technical school is losing 90 to 10, Northridge lost by 100% negative and we have yet to hear about our Newark public schools. The day was clear and warm but turn out could have been better. So many residents are struggling and unemployment is 10% and rising. I honestly do not know what will be tomorrow's plans if this election goes down again. Rough winds are blowing here in the old home town.
I am slowly regaining motion and movement in my back but how fragile the human body and skeleton is and yet so vital for the quality of life. Hopefully with continued rest, smooth stretches and slow gentle movements I know I can be on the path to normalcy. I am cautious to plan too many activities so that I can go to King Arts Complex on Thursday for Queen Brooks and Lyn Logan Grimes opening. This exhibit is a collaboration of women and their personal narrative stories and inspirations to share for the next six weeks. I am anxious to study their marks and colors as I continue to research my whispers and echoes pieces.
I have been hearing from Australia, Africa, England and Scotland about the disintegration project as well as from all over the USA. We are all waiting for the "next step" in this collaboration and where this process will transport our spirits. Transformation is a very strong wave when it first begins and seems to pick up energy as the artists unite in the procession of thoughts, words and ideas. I am back to work for now. I am waiting for an email from Gayle Pritchard, we reunited on Sunday and she is guiding me in my book quest. Gayle is working on an autobiography for Susan Shie and her life as an artist. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

meadowlark melody from my front porch swing....

The swing is old and the swinger, me, is even older. As I stopped for a moment to just sit still...I was blessed with the songs from the evening meadowlark. Today is my "gotcha" day where years...25 tears ago I adopted my two daughters who were 3 and 4 years old. Like most parents I realize now that I had no idea what I was getting into as a new parent. The road was not smooth and all Hollywood for any of us. The girls had been in too many foster homes to list and had had a rough childhood life. I spoke to my daughter tonight as she was beginning to wrestle her three little girls and wrangle them inside the house for bath time. I have been so blessed with all they have brought into our lives; the good and the bad have enriched my survival skills and deepened my capacity for really loving. As the ferns rise in my wildness, into a beautiful fiddle head ballet; making a family is an ongoing performance Art. Learning and appreciating the act of Love is the greatest gift here on Earth.
I had a bad sneeze today and tried to hold it in and ...whoops I pulled an important muscle in my back that put me to bed with a heating pad. I also remember May 4th for the 39th anniversary for the shootings at Kent State. Did we as a country learn anything? Frustrating true, but I had a day where I rested and recounted my joyful reunion with dear friends yesterday at the opening. I am blessed and ready to continue my work...echoes and whispers from Women's Work. I daydreamed different scenarios and compositions in my heart and mind while the greening trees outside my bedroom windows swayed in the breezes on this glorious May day. Color your world in Joys. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

love... a force to be reckoned with

The Best of Ohio 2009 opened this afternoon and I could feel the love as we all met up in the gallery. Old friends and new acquaintances celebrating the sacred marks each individual dared to share this year. Susan Shie and I were observing that this particular exhibit was more subdued than in years before; was it the juror's selections or is it the circumstances we are all dealing with in this fragile economic environment? The art metals and hand designed jewelry works were exceptional this year but there is some thing for everyone to rest their eyes on. I will need to go back before the exhibit begins the year of travels to study and contemplate the works more closely. Tom Muir is a dedicated artist and professor from Bowling Green University and received an honor for his work for Ohio Designer Craftsman over the last 18 years. Several of his students also received recognition for their diverse works and professional expertise. Suzanne Gregg had two intriguing fiber works with a thread design illustrative of a artist working in pen and ink. Kate Gorman was there with her mother and her now grown daughter and celebrating two stoneware sculptures called "Thoughts on Chivalry" .This is the 26th year for this prestigious show and I always feel honored for being in a collective of artists who strive to improve the craft and art of mark making. I also picked up a City Scene magazine and was delighted to see Curtis Goldstein's mural on the cover and Leslie Hill and Carol Vasenko had two of their quilts included in the selection made from the last ten years on the Columbus art scene. This beautifully published magazine demonstrates the evolution and emergence in strengths and skills of Ohio artists. From CCAD to the Short North galleries to giving guidelines for collecting your own art for your homes and offices. I realize that others know the healing properties of seeing art...every cell in the body can be affected by the stimulus produced by a beautiful painting. If you are in Columbus please allow yourself to stop and enjoy the beauty shared in this exquisite collaborative Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

choices have to be made...you can't do it all

I never made it to the plein aire event today. I spent the afternoon with a dear friend and we visited St.Luke's charity silent auction for Haiti. I put in a small bid and would love to get one of them but it is difficult to be generous when you have more funds going out then coming in. The atmosphere was gay and free flowing outside with neighbors strolling in and out of shops in the sunshine. I was fortunate to meet the director of the free clinic here in Newark ( she has been very busy lately) and the doctor who makes quarterly trips to Haiti to care for the very poor. The art works were colorful and so joyful with mediums and techniques to express the culture of the families in Haiti. I was reminded of "I am because We are" documentary I saw earlier this week exposing the dire needs in Malawi, Africa. I am moved to help but feel powerless with cross cultural expressions that really work to assist the poorest of poor. I can reach out in kindness and help those close to home aid in their strength and skills to develop marketing tools to help increase their employment opportunities. Hey! that is me too!
I hope the newspapers will cover the plein aire artists tomorrow in Sunday's newspapers...my body was tired and I needed to stop early and reserve my physical strength. I watched the 135th Kentucky Derby and cheered for the small thoroughbred and remarkable jockey who made a historical move from the back of the 19 horses to win by several lengths in the end. I think this race winner "Mine that Bird" paid a 50 to 1 outcome so here is a cheer for the underdogs!!! Calvin was the jockey and a joy to behold!
I have been hearing from my other participants from all over the globe on my disintegration project. It has been exciting to see and hear from others from all over...complete with creepy crawlers and stingers living in the assemblages. I am trying to take my time to study each project so it will be days before I get through all 123 results.
Tonight I continued my stitch by stitch progress and selected the beginnings of the mother of pearl embellishments. On Thursday I received a button bonanza from two wonderful women who brought me an enormous box of buttons to use in my works. I need to wash and sun dry them in stages...some do own a distinct fragrance from being in storage but with a little TLC they will be sparkling clean in no time. WoooHooo! It sure does not take much to keep me happy! I am so blessed in so many ways. Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

today the skies opened up and the rains raced to the earth...

Today was an eerie journey of hours throughout the day. One moment the sky was open in sunshine and brilliant blue; a few minutes later the deep velvet violet clouds wove an ominous path across our hillside. The tornado sirens were sounding the alarm in the darkness of an afternoon. An hour later we were safe and sound but still drying our clothes in a dear friend's dryer...she had a basement in case we would need to take cover and shelter from the heavens above. I held my newest grand daughter in my arms as she slept without a care in the world. May we all take a moment to remember the moments where we were all cradled in the deep and loving arms of our families. The rains are filling our driest of souls and soils.
Tomorrow I am planning if weather permits to go out to a local plein aire painting event in one of our beautiful county parks. I and others are hopeful that the skies will allow the sun to shine and guide our humble brushes as we attempt to capture an impression of Mother Nature's own brushstrokes onto the roving hills.
Ken and I are trying to downsize the "stuff" we thought we could not live without and taking a bite out of the inevitable job someone may have to do "someday". I have everything I will ever need and my art materials are the most precious for me.

Thank you to those who left a brief comment on my poem and video dedicated to my disintegration process. I can't explain why this simple "do it and leave it" journey was so engaging for me...I just know there were others out there playing in the present moment. The gift of Time! Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart